Compared to everyone else, I'm just a rookie with this, but I am almost to 1 year post treatment and it blows my mind. For about 6 months post-surgery I let the fear of recurrance rule my life, and then I realized that I needed to start living again.
I now cherish every day, and live each to the fullest. This has helped the time fly by, and really has helped me to overcome my fears. I don't dread the doctors anymore, and take every little thing that happens as a milestone. For instance, last week I got to stop taking my coumadin. Next week, I get to have my peg tube removed. My hubby and I take things like this and celebrate to the fullest. We have gotten back to planning our life together. (remember...I was diagnosed on our 6 month wedding anniversary....it's been a rough first year of marriage for us) We are talking about having kids, and I've really been pushing hard to finish my PhD.
I no longer worry about whether or not I'll be around for something in the future. I believe that no one is given any trial in life that they can not handle. This experience has been both one of the worst and one of the best....it really showed me how strong I can be. I learned who I truly was, and have embraced the new "survivor" that I have become. I wear my battle scars proudly, along with my cancer survivor pin and head and neck cancer ribbon.
There are some days when the fears rear their ugly head....especially when I hear stories of other patients that aren't fairing so well. I get survivor's guilt alot....and it hits me very hard, but then I pull myself out of it. I believe that I was meant to survive, and that I need to make the most out of whatever time I have left. If I live to 30 or to 95, all that matters to me is that I made the most of my time here.

This is a quote that I have found helpful during the past months: "If the essence of my being has caused a smile to have appeared upon your face, then in living.....I have made my mark." - Thomas L. Odem, Jr.