Hi, this is Packer 66`s wife...........I know exactly how you`re feeling........and you don`t want to let on that you are a basket case. I know as a nurse, I always think the worst case scenerio,and fear and terror have been along for the ride for a long time....we`ve recently decided that we don`t in any way like the word caregiver, I`m not the caregiver, that`s too passive a word for the cancer patient......I`m the coach and cheerleader, and secretary........venting is good and xanax has been my friend for some time now.......but, remember it truly is amazing what we can do, and we just somehow do manage to get through it...just one day at a time, and things actually do get done........Prayers your way