You guys are fabulous! Thank you for your kind words, good vibes and prayers.

You know, once we're post-treatment, I think we all carry the fear of recurrence around like an extra 15 pounds of body fat from which we can never rid ourselves. Whether it's at the surface and driving us crazy or down deeper and tightly controlled, it's always there. We may smile, look good, and be a picture of zen-like serenity, but it's there. And I think that fear controls our behavior like dysfunctional episodes from our childhood might control our family interactions. Whether you decide to never touch a potential carcinogen again or you go fatalistic and decide you better enjoy what life you have left, it drives our decision making process. I guess one of the things that irritates me the most about all of this is I can't really plan for anything except the next oncology appointment. I mean, I'm 41 years old and the thought of planning for retirement at this point makes me laugh out loud. Even if this biopsy turns out to be nothing, then that only extends my planning interval from weeks to months -- my next follow up visit. Living in the moment is fine, fun and sometimes fullfilling, but it doesn't get the mortgage paid off...

I guess I'm bordering on ranting again. I just wanted to jot down an observation about living with this stuff. Thanks again!

-Brett