...then again it could be a whole lot worse, but it's too early to tell.

I had a follow up appointment with my radiation oncologist a couple of weeks ago. After happily joking and making small talk with him and going through the exam process, we got to the point of pulling the scope out of my nose (always a relief!) and he was all frowns. I knew immediately something was up. When I asked him how does it look, he said he wanted to feel my tongue before he answered and continued to frown. After he completed his exam, he said he saw an abnormality about the size of a pencil point near the original tumor site and wanted a fresh CT scan and one of the other docs to have a look.

I had the CT scan last Thursday and an appointment with the surgeon Friday. He scoped and choked me and saw what the rad onc saw, but said it didn't look like cancer and that he didn't want to see me again for three more months -- the standard first year follow-up interval. However, the radiologist had not reviewed the CT scan by that time. So the surgeon told me if the radiologist saw something, then they would call me and have me back in six weeks or less. I got a call from the surgeon's P.A. yesterday morning -- the radiologist saw something: "...a fullness that is worrisome with regard to recurrent disease."

It was a tough day after that phone call yesterday. Sometimes I get so sick of being sick or recovering from being sick. Sick of hopspitals and their smells, of needles and catheters, of doctors and their vocabulary that I don't always understand, of........I digress. This post wasn't meant to be a rant.

In any case, I go in for a pandenoscopy (spelling?) December 1st, which is right at my one year post-treatment anniversay. We'll get a biopsy sample and see what the pathologist says. I'll post an update after the pathology report is in.

Thanks for the chance to externalize some of this.

-Brett