Helen/Dee I havent quite made it up to the ceiling, just half way up the wall LOL I dont know where everybody here finds their strength, but Im trying my best to emmulate all of you and be strong myself. Helen I read your profile, taking care of your husband and yourself, and you Dee my heart goes out to you about Frank but I see you have something to look forward to in the future. The funny thing, when I was younger, I thought nothing would ever happen to me, but over the years, too many bad things have. Brief run down, my dad abused me, had a brother pass away on my 16th birtday, took care of mom for over 5 years, take care of learning disabled brother, both parents and all grandparents passed away. Raised my niece for many years, she passed away two years ago at the age of 20 from CF. My other brother just recently passed away 2 months ago, lost one of my best friends a month after my niece due to Melanoma. I mean it just goes on and on. I also told myself that God wouldnt give me anymore than I could handle, and in some strange way I felt proud to know that he felt I was this strong. I tried to think that all the bad was behind me, that now, FINALLY it would be my turn to find happiness. But as I read all the posts on this forum, I feel a bit ashamed at my lil pity party. ALL of you have been through so much, yet you keep encouraging others, you keep your sense of humor, you keep LIVING. I dont ever recall anybody ever having such an impact on me, but this forum is a God Send and all of you are truly Angels of Mercy. Whew that was close, instead of Continuing UP THE WALL, I jumped off my platform LOL Helen Im keeping my fingers crossed for a NEGATIVE RESULT-damn that just doesnt sound right does it, here we all are trying to be POSITIVE and Im wishing for you to be NEGATIVE lol