Hello Johanna. I wrote a lengthy post the other night because I was so worried for you and even a little angry. But the anger always comes from being afraid, and I was just afraid you were not going to give this a fight. I'm so glad to hear that strong woman voice. There are so many of them here and you have now joined them. My post never made it to the board because I absent- mindedly missed the post message part. Oops. I want to share this part though. During my treatment there was a young boy having treatment as well. I am not 100% sure his diagnosis and only cought a little bit of his mother explaining his situation to another lady. This young man had been through treatment when he was 6. I am pretty sure his mother said it was some type of tumor on the brain. He is now 9 and his cancer had returned and he was going through treatment again. This little boy and his family were very strong people. They were always positive and the little boy never complained. It was very obvious that his treatment was very tough on him and he handled like a warrior would. I have so much respect for that little boy and will always be greatful to him for the things he taught me. He had no idea that he changed my life. We all get scared with the Dx, and some of us get tired and frustrated along the way, but we are gifted one thing that most other creatures aren't and that is our ability to give and receive hope. The only thing that stops that is feeling sorry for ourselves and that little boy taught me to never feel sorry for myself again. He also taught me that someone may be watching and be needing hope, so with a smile I try to pass along the hope he gave me. I hope everyone that reads this post will add this family to their prayer list, and Johanna I will add you to mine. The rest of you are already on it. Good luck Johanna. :-) Lee