what a difficult time you are having ,but if you have been diagnosed for six months ,your time left for sitting on the fence is coming close to its limit.My husband was going to kill himself when he was diagnosed and he is only 44 Now he has had radical surgery and is only ten treatments off the finish.It may sound horrendous ,and it is ,but the alternative doesnt even bear thinking about.
Pain is controlled with the liberal use of drugs that will help and just think about the reactions of your family and friends if they found out you werent going to battle this disease witheverything available to you.I know that quality of life and life expectancy are two sides to the scale ,but dont give up without a lot of soul searching and information.

Love Liz