Dear Group,
Hello, I'm new to this group and would like to introduce myself. I am hoping someone will read this and offer me a bit of support. I'm a healthy and energetic high school teacher. This is my 33rd year of teaching. This year I am teaching full-time German, but in the past I have also taught French and English. Every summer I take a group of travelers to explore Europe. The students and I travel to Germany. In my adult groups we have explored France and Italy in addition to Germany.

You can imagine my shock when I found out that I have cancer at the base of my tongue, which moved into the lymph nodes of my neck and which is currently possibly in the lymph nodes of my chest.

Imagine a foreign language teacher, trilingual, without a fully functioning tongue!

It has been six months since I have been diagnosed. I have a lot of pressure on me right now to begin treatment. Radiation and chemotherapy are the only two treatments upon which all doctors agree. I am investigating a hyperthermia/chemo approach. In this, a 104 degree fever is induced and maintained for a six hour period on the same day that the first dose of chemo is administered.

Bottom line: I am DEATHLY afraid of radiation!! I am wondering if I should say no to all treatment and accept the consequences rather than allow my saliva/parotid glands to be destroyed.

Might I add that I have been treated for severe rheumatoid arthritis for the past ten years? I do not even know what it is like to live without pain. Seems to me that chemo and radiation are just going to increase the already high level of pain AND burn up my healthy cells.

Is there anybody out there who can shake some sense into me? I truly do not know which way to turn!!!

Yours,
Johanna