Hello Janine
I also had a husband with Stage IV base of tongue.
He is 3 years out of treatment and life is pretty much normal for us.
I can totally understand what you are feeling right now... I think "Sheer Terror" might describe it best. You can get through this Janine and we are here to help.
Pete`s salivary glands have been somewhat compromised but, he is now able to go without a water bottle for much longer periods as time goes on.
His taste buds don`t seem to have been damaged that much and he can eat pretty much anything that does not have to be chewed a lot. He would not listen when I told him he had to exercise his jaw... so trismus is an issue.
If your husband would like to talk to someone who has been through it let me know. Pete is real easy to talk to and would be happy to do it.

Take care
Marica