Janine,

You have said everything that I feel (even when numb). You have a great way with words and I can tell you that you have already helped me today. I needed to see my pain in words to even be able to describe to others what this nightmare is like. My husband needs more surgery, radation and possibly chemo. We can't seem to get the cancer "team" together after going to the tumor board last week, and so we are in limbo while our first doc and staff try to figure out what this cancer hospital is going to put together. I just wish we could start something, the waiting is a killer in itself.
Anyway, thank you again for your insight and putting words to my feelings too. Hang in there and this is the place to be, a lot.