Janine,
When I was diagnosed, also with stage IV base of tongue in 2002, I had three kids in high school. Now, four years later, one is a senior in college, the second is a freshman, also at the University of Texas, and my son is a senior in high school. Although the radiation/chemo left me with the dry mouth, much of my sense of taste has returned and I enjoy eating all kinds of foods. I have enjoyed many trips and many good times with my children, other family members and friends since I recovered, and I got re-married in 2004. My golf game is better than ever and I can still handle myself in the courtroom in front of a jury, snow ski, hike in the mountains or do whatever I want to. Although I once believed that I would never see retirement, I am once again planning on it, albeit not working as hard as I used to.
I frankly don't know just how scared the kids were when I was diagnosed, but they handled it well, and, like most teenagers, were very concerned with their own lives, although they were very caring with me.
Fortunately, most of us recover and get back to life, if not life as we knew it before, still a good life.

Best of luck,
Danny G.