Michelle, O.K. let's get down to brass tacks here- you are in the "Scared to death" phase. However, because of your prior experience, you are not a beginner. Remember that. You have proved yourself to be a survivor! Now you can grab Steve's hand and help him do it. Granted, this is not the 1st choice scenerio of how to spend your 1st year of marriage, but when you get through this, everything else should be a piece of cake. . I'm sorry to read you don't have family close. You DO have us and perhaps you can find some "face-to face" support in the Santa Clarita area or thru his Doctors. But please don't let yourself feel isolated because you can call most of us when you need to hear a real voice or e-mail or post. You and Steve will get through this together. Check the "Getting through it" topics for some practical and emotional help. And keep talking to us. Amy