hello everyone, this is my first post and i have no idea what to expect.
i am a 17 year old girl, i just graduated high school. on july 6th i was diagnosed with a facial tumor, i need a biopsy to confirm it but my doctors are heavily considering it to be an ameloblastoma, a benign and aggressive tumor. i went from thinking i had an infected parotid gland to googling and preparing for the "jaw in a day" surgery.
i am terrified. i have a terrible mental state as it is and im just in severe shock. not sleeping, hardly eating, constant panic attacks (which i haven't had in years). i can only sleep in 2-3 hour increments due to excruciating nightmares. i have a consultation with an amazing surgeon, one of the pioneers of the surgery i need on the 13th to schedule a biopsy. i am just scared it'll come up malignant, and im worried i jinxed it by joining an oral cancer forum despite not having a solid diagnosis, but i need people to talk to who will understand. my friends and family are terrified. looking in the mirror or doing my makeup hurts. just knowing i have a tumor makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
the hardest part is the wait. the whole situation is just traumatic. google is obviously no help, and there's no good information on ameloblastomas that is comforting as they are extremely rare. i just need some reassurance or maybe advice from someone who has been through the same thing. the future is so uncertain regarding college now, i had dreams to be a dentist. how ironic. im getting way too ahead of myself, im just so young and scared. any advice is great.