gmcraft, I have a question about the experience of your husband -- about how long was the time period from when you discovered the cancer had metastasized to when he eventually passed away?

My father was diagnosed in Sept 2020. From the chart: He is a 77-year-old gentleman originally diagnosed with Stage III (T2 N2a M0) keratinizing squamous cell carcinoma of the left tonsil, P-16 positive.

He received chemo and radiation but has been having trouble with necrosis of the throat tissue, making it hard to speak or swallow. He was taken to the ER this weekend due to severe bleeding in throat (hemorrhage) that is connected to the necrosis. The MRI results of his throat have been inconclusive as to whether it is a new tumor or severely inflamed tissue from radiation. They will be doing more testing, but strongly suspect recurrence. He is still in hospital but they expect to discharge him shortly and follow up at a cancer center (U of Miami). His vitals look fine except for low hemoglobin from losing so much blood from the hemorrhage.

I live several states away from my dad (I'm in NC and he lives in Florida) -- and I would like to be with him when he needs me. He does currently have a support system in his wife and her children (my stepsisters). My plan is to get my son off to college in mid August and then head down to Florida for several weeks.

I just can't tell if I'm being overly optimistic that he can hang on until I get down there. Or if I should scrap all my plans and drive there now.

I know you can't advise about his specific situation. Just wondering how long the downfall was in your case -- so I can weigh that against what I'm hearing from my stepmother (who thinks it should be ok to wait a few weeks to come down).