I was my husband’s caregiver for close to three years, from diagnosis to when he left us. It was not at all easy. Like Christine said, I had to keep track of all the appointments, his intake, any side effects, etc. I relied on this forum the whole time. There was, above all, what the patient himself would accept and what he would refuse to do. I picked my battles. I would not yield on hydration and nutrition, but I would let him decide what he would like to eat, for example, if he wanted a poached egg or just scrambled eggs. But whether he was going to have eggs was not up for discussion. When he drank his tea, he wanted four teaspoons of sugar. That was okey as long as he would drink it. He went to a therapist for a while, and then he said he had talked about everything and didn’t want to go again. That was all right too because it did not impact on the treatment of the cancer.

I made sure I knew what questions to ask the doctors and what information to give them so that they knew I was on the case and would give me good answers to my questions. I would never give up if I wasn’t satisfied. I would ask the question again and again.

I made a point of getting up one and a half hours before my husband because that was my ME TIME. I would have a leisurely breakfast and read the papers. I just enjoyed the time when there was no stress. The rest of the day we tried to pass our time in as “normal” a manner as we could manage. We watched TV together, talked (but never specificallyabout cancer) and read. My family doctor referred me to a therapist of my own so that I could talk about how I felt.

My main takeaway from the experience is to take it a day at a time. If he had a CAT scan, I would not worry about the results until I was actually sitting in the doctor’s office listening to the results. I focused on, if this is what things are going to be. then what is the next step for us. I looked to the future and set aside the past because it was pointless.

I hope this is helpful to you in some way. Please keep us posted and let us know how you’re getting on.