Michelle,

My heart goes out to you and Marcy and also her daughter. I am so sorry that I have no words of comfort for you. I, too, was unable to understand why god would allow someone to suffer so. It is horrible enough to die so young, but to have to suffer such agonies is just beyond understanding.

I know we have gone over a lot of this before, but be sure Marcy is getting enough pain medicine. As for the eating and drinking, I remember Heather wanted to drink water so badly, but couldn't. We did give her small ice chips to suck on sometimes. It seemed to help a little. Marcy should just rely on her PEG for I'm afraid regular eating will not get easier. If the tumors grow as Heather's did, there will be too much swelling and pressure on her throat for it to be possible.
Is she taking turmeric? If not, you should consider it. It is a long shot, but it might possibly shrink the tumors a little or at least slow their growth. Enough to ease some of the pressure maybe. Again, it is a long shot, but I can't see how it could hurt to try.

I forget if you said she is having any chemo. If not, why not? The chemo did help Heather for awhile. It actually gave her a few more months. Although, to be quite honest, since those months were pain-filled for her, I'm not sure if it was worth it. But if I remember correctly, Marcy doesn't have as many issues as Heather did....trach, fistulas, stomach problems and spinal collapse. She should be able to tolerate chemo better. If she has already tried several chemos, please excuse me for bringing it up. I couldn't remember what treatments she has already had.

It may not matter too much right now, but if Marcy does succumb, please be aware that although it will be rough at first, her daughter will adjust better than you might think. I had heard it said that young children bounce back quite readily after tragedies and I now know that to be true. At least that seems to be the case with Heather's daughter. We are taking her for grief counseling, and the psychiatrist thinks Cati is handling it very well. She doesn't see anything in her behavior to be concerned about. She probably didn't even need counseling, but I wanted to be sure she wasn't bottling her grief up, because I knew that would cause problems for her later.

Please know my thoughts are with you and I am still hoping for a miracle for Marcy. Please try to take care of yourself, too.

With love,
Rosie