Im thinking its pretty serious at this point. My body quivers just drinking water and swallowing food. A few minutes and im nauseous and have to throw up. Im taking Zolfram for the nausea, it helps somewhat, but the mucus also makes me gag as well, causing me to throw up from the reflex. Im rinsing and cleaning my mouth every few hours. I keep trying new things, but have to rely on boost, but now even that is making me sick. I was never very tolerant of milk or dairy, and now its become an issue. Ive talked to my family...and seeing me today so sick and weak, they too think this might be for the best. I feel so bad for them, having to watch me be sick, refuse to eat and drink, out of fear of throwing up. The strain from it all has left my mouth raw and bloody. Im at my wits end. I have an older protective brother, who after seeing me get sick today, literally was telling me to stop treatments, saying its killing me. (I know he was just scared seeing me like this, and that is what is making him say it, but I told him im so close to finishing, but his point is that, it will do no good to finish , if im left sicker than when i started). So we all agreed to discuss the tube tomorrow. Im concerned as this doc, in the beginning, said he was strongly against the tube, but im down 30 lbs since this all began and losing a pound to a pound and a half a day. Im getting weaker each day. Something needs to change. I was told by a family member that im not trying hard enough, and that if i really wanted to eat and drink that i could. How can i argue with logic!? I keep telling them...im hungry and thirsty, but if it passes into my mouth and down my throat , it will make me sick. They say better to throw it up then, at least im eating. They are so scared of me not getting the nutrition i need that they are ignoring the fact that it also hurts me to get sick. Ughhhh. Pity party, over. ****I know im nearing the end, 10 more to go. I never thought i would feel this way. I actually thought i was stronger than this. But im mentally and physically exhausted now.