Your post is very thought provoking and so eloquently stated. I have added much of your post to a small notebook I carry everywhere to read often. I do get down occasionally and pull out my notebook to remind myself how fortunate I truly am. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, and life suggestions. They sure hit home for me. It is so good to hear you are doing well !

Loto19, please follow Obiwans' and others advice:
stop, deep breaths, don't let worry steal your moments.

Sept 2002 Rt breast cancer no chemo or radiation.
March 2015 Rt tonsil cancer - walnut size lump rt side neck.
March 2015 Scan, biopsy confirm
March 2015 Port, G tube placed, 10 teeth removed.
July 2015 completed 5 chemo/35 radiations
Sept 2015 Cat Scan all clear
July 2016 G tube, port still in place
Ive had Thyroid "graves disease" and Lupus for many years.
4 kidney stone surgeries past 3 mo with over 100 stones still there !

*** Update... Jo passed away 12/20/17 ... RIP Jo ***