Cindy, This is not a time to coddle your parent's feelings. We are not trying to figure out a diplomatic way to tell dad that his Levis aren't zipped. Cancer kills people. Not everyone survives head and neck cancers - in fact, many don't.

I advise you and your sister to start with your mom and help her get past terrified, get her feet on the ground and bring her up to speed. Some choices need to be made for him and soon. Don't let "ole doc Peterson" do it his way - there is too much at stake.

Find two or more docs who have treated THIS type of cancer before and are up to date with their research. You will not get the best care from any medical person without asking lots of questions, talking about OTHER options, investigating OTHER docs, etc.

I notice you are posting from Illinois. University of Chicago has one of the best head/neck cancer treatment programs on planet Earth. If you can get him there, do so. At least call them. You can even schedule an appointment online. Don't put this off.

Come to this site often. Read everything here - don't miss the blogs on the information pages - much of that information is very up to date. Get your mom to come here and read. Get your dad to come here and read. I am 57, had all my teeth pulled before treatment, went through lots of chemo and radiation. I can talk to him and tell him about it. Many others here can too. He can talk to many of us by private email if he prefers. I'd be happy to visit with him. Its time to get him involved. Let us help. This is a battle and cancer has the advantage. Get mad, get involved, get a team, get focused. Be strong. Tom