If you are showing symptoms of
HPV+ oral cancer, call and get an appointment before you go on vacation. It can take a few weeks to get an appointment so get the ball rolling. Even with symptoms, it takes a biopsy to determine if a "spot" is cancerous. Just by a visual exam even experienced doctors cant be positive what something is. A biopsy will determine exactly whats going on.
You do not know for certain what you have.
HPV is a STD that can lay dormant for many, many years. Until you are actually diagnosed with
HPV+ cancer, you do not have anything to confess to your wife about. Its NOT cancer until the biopsy says it is!!! Take a deep breath, take it step by step and do your very best to logically think thru this.
Good luck with everything.