Hello to you all. I am so delighted to find this forum. The general cancer chat rooms don't have much for me to connect with, and I was really getting lonely for some company with people who understand my experience. I've read post after post from you all, and wow, have I ever come home by coming here!

My story is like yours. Recurring ear ache and swollen neck glands, led to CT, which led to surgical biopsy. Pet scan, a hit parade of docs and a very solemn oncologist. SCC, very large tumor in the base of the tongue, mets to the left neck lymph glands, and left carotid artery.

After several opinions from different 'camps' about tx, I chose a non-surgical plan. Buckets and buckets of chemo every day for 12 weeks, one week off, then radiation twice per day plus very heavy chemo. One week, tx every day, next week off, third week tx every day, etc. for 12 weeks.

Tx ended 11/03 and I'm doing great. Lots of post tx fallout, no teeth, can't swallow much, peg tube for nutrition, no sense of taste or smell, feet and hands still pretty numb, very poor balance, and some charming sinus issues. (Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play??)

My speech is fine, I am back teaching in the classroom again (college sociology) and enjoying that. Energy continues to improve, hair came back without the gray and my beard is gone. Really gone. I shave a few wisps every few days.

Please, talk to me about HOPE. Until quite recently, I did not hope - even a little. Now that my strength is returning, I catch myself looking forward to things. It scares me. Is this chemo brain, or do others feel this too? Is this depression?? Tom Jackson in Colorado.