Anita, I know how you feel. I have had a recurrent oral cancer too and last time my husband had just been placed in a dementia unit at a local rest home. Dealing with a family member's Alzheimer's at the same time as a cancer diagnosis and treatment is like a worst case scenario. My husband had just gone into care. Is your mother at home with you?

I can also understand the issue of guiding children through your own cancer. You need help because the surgery will take you out of circulation for at least a week. Have you family members or friends who could help out? Situations like this call for advice and support from the Cancer Society. The hospital you deal with will have a social worker.

Vagueness about outcomes from the surgeon isn't uncommon. As long as he's going into cure it, as long as there's a plan of action, you will gain the strength to go through the treatment. Whether you should get a second opinion I don't know. We have a different system where there is no real choice but all treatment is free. Can you ask your GP for advice on the MD Anderson option? It's hard to make these decisions alone.

People here will support you to the max. Let us know how you get on.
Best wishes
Maureen