MD Anderson is a top CCC if it doable, I would definitely go there. If it's a big tumor I would urge your surgeon to do the neck dissection at the same time. Or better yet see someone who does this cancer all the time as they will likely do what I just said. Everyone else has given you some great advice. Being the caregiver in the family makes it hard for you to think of caring for yourself. My advice is give up the reigns for a bit... focus on getting the best possible care so you can recover quickly with minimal issues. HUGS and best of luck