Hi members,
I've put off joining for over 4 years and 4 surgeries. I've read the posts here and kept telling myself I didn't belong because I've been in denial.
After I refused radiation and chemo 1 1/2 years ago the cancer has now spread to my jaw which will be replaced with my fibula tomorrow morning. I will know the extent of damage post surgery. I had planned to overdose rather than go through anymore treatment. I have lived in constant pain since my first surgery 4 years ago and knew I couldn't continue with increased pain. I'm a single mother of 2 sons, 18 and 20 and I'm afraid of being a burden to them. They are then only reason I am going ahead with surgery now. I'm not ready to leave them.
Any suggestions on pain meds and how to get through this will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!

2010-surgery for stage 2 squamous cell carcinoma of right lateral tongue. Partial glosectomy with right neck dissection. Clear margins
2012-return of cancer to same area of tongue. Surgery with removal of 2 molars which irritated tongue. Clear margins again.
2013-return of cancer to tongue, floor of mouth and jaw where teeth were
extracted. Rad and chemo suggested - I declined.
2/2015-Mandible fibula, free flap surgery. My leg is truly in my mouth 😆