HI there... I'm sorry you've had so many recurrences. Sometimes what we consider the easy way (just having the surgeries and avoiding rads and chemo) isn't always the easy way in the long run. If they recommend it after this surgery i would like to suggest you go with radiation and chemo. It is a horrid treatment. I'm not going to lie, but usually there is light at the end of the tunnel after it. Everyone ends up with some limitations but for the most part it's worth it. (my limitations are.. I need to drink fluids when I eat, and a bit of post nasal drip) That's it. Some people have difficulty swallowing, are unable to swallow at all, but that is dependent on a lot of factors. Some have pain. But it really depends on what they've done and how they do it.

I know chronic pain can cause severe depression as well as having to get back into all of this all over again. I would definitely find someone to talk to.

Your kids still need you. You are NOT a burden. Do what you can to get better for them.

I have adult kids so I know what I'm talking about. You want to be around to see them have their children and be a doting grand ma.

hugs and welcome