It's good for kids to be made aware, it is good for people not to hide things from their kids - I am not saying scare them with the gory details but do make them aware of the basics. I know we all want our children to have joy and not ruin their formative/young adult years, however I am not sure we are doing them any favors. Some knowledge is a good thing. This way they have some understanding of what you are going through and are able to come to terms with it. It also makes them more readily able to handle similar situations later in life. All of my kids were kept up to date on what was going on with my health I didn't sugar coat it, I told them the truth but at the same times I softened it somewhat - I let them see me when I was at my worst, but also told them that it was going to be a temporary situation, though they knew there was no guarantee as cancer - like life is unpredictable. Hiding stuff from kids and keeping secrets (my sister in law did this when my father in law was sick) makes them not trust you in the future.

Provide the information, let them know you are there if they want to discuss it. Two of my three children handled my dad's last few month amazingly well. My middle child struggled with visiting regularly but came the day he passed.

It's not easy - but life isn't always easy- and if all you show them are rainbows and unicorns, they never learn to deal with the bad stuff. I know your son (s) are older and have their own lives, but they should still be made aware. Otherwise, if something does happen down the road, they will be kicking themselves and have regret over not doing more, or being more aware. hugs.