Hi Hellion. I too love the name and the great spirit it implies. While your cancer may be HPV positive, I am sure you know how tough smoking is on the oral cavity and the rest of your body. While you didn't specifically say, I assume you have quit.

Have you thought about getting a second opinion re surgery? If I were you I think that is what I would do. All of the previous posters have given great info - pay special attention to Christine's advice re nutrition. I fully believe that, in addition to mt OCF family and our FABULOUS medical system, I am still here today because I am a good eater and was able to physically withstand treatments.

My contributions to you will likely be more about the emotions you will deal with - more about the fear than the mechanics of treatment. There are so many here with much more expertise. First of all, yes the fear is ABSOLUTELY normal. 2ndly - Do Not Blame yourself. 3rdly, worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere. Rely on you friends. Take them up on those innocuous " if there is anything we can do" comments. Get them to shovel snow, or run a lawn mower, do some grocery shopping, provide a meal for the freezer (tell them of any sensitivities) ow whatever. People really DO want to help - they just feel helpless. Now is the time to lean on family and friends. I can guarantee that you will be surprised at who steps up. Be careful not to judge your friends at this time. They all handle their fear differently - they love you and some will be frozen in their tracks. Don't be disappointed. We are all different.

Hugs

Donna