Hi,
Speaking from the wife's viewpoint...she is as scared if not more scared than you. I know you want to be here to have support, but be sure not to tune her out in order to not hurt her, because that hurts more. You are in this together and she needs to see your humor, strength and fears as well.
You sound as though you have a great sense of humor and a fighting spirit and I will tell you from watching my Kevin that that is half the battle. you can see from my signature that we were also BOT. We are about 2.5 years out and all is well so far. We live an almost normal life now. Worry comes around scan time, but we have tried to move toward normal for our kids more than anything.
Stay in touch and ask anything. Keep a notebook handy and write down questions as you think of them. Keep something by your bed as well for those late night "I wonders".
Welcome to the family. I would encourage your wife to join the site as well. She can always personal message some of us care givers so she doesn't feel so alone.
You got this. The fear gets better once tx starts because you are actually doing something instead of waiting.
Blessings,
Kathy