Sounds like you are already trying to do something to help yourself and that's a good thing. Remember this: The most important person that you need to help you is YOU! You must start to help yourself survive because your health and your survival are very important. Drinking and smoking will not help except temporarily, and when giving those things up leaves a void, they need to be replaced by some other positive things and you can get suggestions from helpful places like stop smoking groups and AA. Just talking to someone else will give you the distinct feeling of having a heavy load lifted off your shoulders. Definitely start with your doctor and tell him/her what's happening. Not everyone reacts the same to the meds and often they need to be changed. You cannot change how others react to you, but you CAN make changes in yourself and in your attitude which you have already started doing by coming here and planning to see a doctor! Very often when others close to you see you taking positive steps to help yourself, it will make a difference in their reactions to you. What you see as your Mom's turning away from you may just be tough love and her way of not being an Enabler in what she sees as your self destruction. You are very young and have so many wonderful experiences ahead of you - and as soon as you can start taking care of YOU, you will be able to enjoy sharing with others all the good things possible. So start with calling the doctor for an appointment. Do it NOW! And let us know what is happening with you.