"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Oct 2013 Posts: 559 Likes: 1 | Welcome to the family even though it's one you would just as soon not have to be a member of. We all felt the same way at the beginning, but there's no better place on the planet to help get you past the huge shock and fear of initial diagnosis and then later, along the journey to keep you up on the highway and out of the ditch.
Your husband will have plenty of fears and worries too. Many he will discuss with you, some maybe he won't. For that reason it will benefit him if he too joins the forum. Being able to communicate directly with other patients and survivors will give him more and deeper understanding of what he is going through.
I'm sure you are an excellent caregiver, but if everything has to go through you first before it gets to him, details sometime get lost in the translation. I hope he isn't one of those people who hates computers. If he is, then this journey will be a little harder on him and also on you.
Just as you have been told to stay busy with preparing for all the upcoming procedures and treatments, your husband needs to stay busy too. The worst thing he can do is to just sit there idle and think too much about his situation. Those thoughts too easily turn to the dark side and that is not good. Much better would be for him to be actively reading the web pages himself about his cancer and it's treatment and learning what is going on, so he too can help advocate for himself. If all this load falls only on your shoulders, it's going to be a longer and more difficult journey. From my minimal experience reading the stories of patients versus the stories of caregivers, it's the caregivers who have a much harder time if their husband/spouse/significant other wasn't also actively involved in the journey.
If I am mis-reading your situation and your husband is actively involved, then my apologies. Either way, welcome to the family, we will help get you through this.
Tony
Tony, 69, non-smoker, aerobatics pilot, bridge player/teacher, avid dancer (ballroom, latin, swing, country)
09/13 SCC, HPV 16, tonsillectomy, T2N0. 11/13 start rads, no chemo 12/13 taste gone, dry mouth, 02/14 hair slowly returning 05/14 taste the same, dry sinuses, irrigation helps. 01/15 food taste about 60% returned, dry sinuses are worse in winter. 12/20 no more sinus problems, taste pretty good
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