Hi Carol,
I'll just reply to let you know that I read your post, and that I also have a recently-diagnosed family member. My father just told me today that he has "cancer" - he didn't say any more than that, other than that he starts chemo/radio tomorrow. It sounds like it might be tongue cancer, based on his description.
Most of our communication is by email because we live on opposite sides of the world. But, in his email today, he asked me not to telephone him because speaking is painful. I;m guessing that pain that is strong enough to interfere with his ability to speak might mean the lump is quite big.
I'll look out for your posts.
I wish you well
Deborah