Hi Apappala,

As I see from your other post and this one, you have a lot going on in a very short period of time. It's difficult at best to be on the caregiver side and deal with cancer and the myriad of emotions it brings but you have the added task of dealing with your husband's mental illness that is being exasperated by the recent events. Add to that the physical pain from surgery and the potential for more with subsequent treatments which is a very distinct possibility and it's more than a full plate for anyone.

For many including myself, there was a period of weeks/months from the time we began to even suspect cancer to the day we heard the diagnosis. Then, there was a period of time from being diagnosed until treatment started. That alone was a very emotional and difficult period of time and adjustment which brought out some of the reactions you're experiencing. To have things happen at such a whirl wind pace compounded with the already existing conditions is something I cannot fathom and I've been through a heck of a ride thus far.

Does your husband have a therapist? Someone that can help him deal with what's taking place? It would seem to me, based on what you're saying, that intervention would be prudent before the lid blows off. It's difficult enough to deal with a cancer diagnosis from both the patient and caregiver perspectives, but adding what could potentially be an abusive and harmful situation to the mix is not good for anyone involved.

I would contact the hospital and doctors immediately to discuss what's happening.

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"