I'm still pissed about how my father passed as well. I totally know the feeling. My dad's death was totally unnecessary (it wasn't cancer related a stroke and negligence of the facilities he was being cared for in- I do take some comfort in two things - my dad as so debilitated by the time he passed that he wanted to go - this I know - and secondly I spent a great amount of time with him the last months of his life and as hard as it was to watch him suffer I am so glad we had that time and I know that what I did for him at the time was all I could do so my regrets in this matter are minimal. See someone it will help to talk it out. Hugs