Sorry you have to join the club but you are in good company and the useful people and posts here will help get you through the treatment.

I assume you have been biopsied. Has it been tested for HPV? The prognosis is better for HPV+ tumors. Outside of clinical trials, the treatment is the same.

Has the cancer been staged? (TxNxMx?)

Is any sort of chemotherapy part of either treatment option? I would assume for option 2 it would be included and possibly for option 1, depending on the results of the neck dissection and tonsillectomy. Post surgery, the doctors often have more information on the tumor (ECE, margins, etc) and can refine the treatment (specifically if there will be chemo or not)

I would find out what the difference between more intense radiation and a lesser course of radiation is. I received a lesser dose of radiation to my lymph nodes as part of a clinical trial. The dosage was around 70gy to the tonsil, 60gy to the cancerous lymph nodes and ~50-55gy to the other side of the neck.

Every oncologist I saw told me that trying to keep the amount of treatment modalities I received to 2, would be best for my long term quality of life. Knowing that, I decided on radiation + chemo, as the doctors thought that if I opted for surgery there was a decent chance that I would also need chemo.

It seems to me the trend for HPV+ BOT and tonsil cancer is to bypass the neck dissection and treat with chemoradiation. It seems that HPV+ tumors are more radiosensitive, when compared to HPV- cancers.

Are option 1 and 2 from different cancer centers? Its good you are getting 2nd and 3rd opinions. I went to 4 cancer centers within days before deciding on my treatment.