Hi Stacie,
I think all of us who were the caregivers have felt or are feeling what you are feeling. It can be absolutely paralyzing if you let it. There were days I let it for sure, but then I decided that if it comes back down the road and I give up everything now in anticipation of that, then I have wasted what little time we had. I even have said to a fellow caregiver that sometimes I just tell myself we have 5 years so live it well...Of course don't know that. We are a year and a half out of tx and all is well so far. We freak a little at PET time, but we wouldn't be human if we didn't.
I hope that you can find a way to wrap your head (and heart) around this. He really does need you. I think they feel like a stranger in their own bodies as it is without their family making them feel unwelcomed or unloved too. Hang in there...
Kathy