Brendan, I am thrilled that you do have an option.
We too have quality of life issues and the shoulder issues were a major for Kris in the first 6 months post his surgery. But, together with intensive physio and gym work these problems have largely been resolved. You do find a way around them and compensate.
Life is very different for us, but we are both so thankful for life. Honestly Kris does enjoy his life.
Without this surgery your outlook is very bleak. If this had been our only option I would have definitely pushed for it. You have hope. The QOL issues will resolve themselves with time.
Thinking of you both,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!