My mom (70) was just diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. She's talking to a couple of doctors about treatment options - one in Arizona (where she spends the winter) and another in Boston (where I live, near my sibling and other extended family members), where I would be the primary care giver. She's coming to Boston for a consult this week, so we will know more then.

I'd like to get feedback from others about their experiences during treatment, so that we (she) can decide which location might be best. Arizona is familiar to her; she has a pool, a gym, and other regular places that she visits. She has friends there, although many will be leaving during April. She has a companion who can provide care. He is dependable, although not the most empathetic or flexible person. I'm concerned that she won't get the quality daily care that she needs there.

In Boston, she would be living with me, and we will have an extra bedroom where her friends can stay if they want to visit. We can definitely create a comfortable home for her, but other than extended family, she has no friends here, no gym, pool, etc, although I'm sure that can all be arranged. I'm nervous about being the primary care giver. Our relationship is sometimes a challenge, to say the least, but doing this feels right to me.

Any thoughts or suggestions for us as we review the options? Thanks in advance.