An ENT would be a better choice to see rather than an oral surgeon. Most oral surgeons do things like dental implants, wisdom tooth extractions and biopsies. Where and ENT will do biopsies and also be much more experienced (if you choose the right one) with detecting and treating oral cancer. Some ENTS will specialize in putting tubes in childrens ears so make sure you ask before you make and appointment with another ENT who will quickly dismiss your concerns.
I really hope you have nothing seriously wrong! Hoping that the biopsy (yes, insist on having one done) turns out to show the lump is non cancerous.
We are all in your corner and will help you thru everything.
Wishy-washy??? NO WAY! I think you are courageous

Best wishes!!!