Answers:

I was lucky, guess I've always taken good care of my teeth so none were pulled. I did however get fluoride trays which I always use.

The node didn't seem to enlarge far as I could tell. But I expect it grew to a point where I finally noticed it, no idea how long that might have taken. In fact the first FNA turned up negative and it was thought to be a branchial cleft cyst. It wasn't until the surgeon got in there to remove it that he knew at once it was SCC, and the biopsy after surgery confirmed it.

It felt like a walnut sized growth, hardish in the center, kind of could roll it around in place a bit. Once the FNA was done it seemed to shrink down, but was back to its previous size within a day or so. Which led me to believe that it was a cyst that was filling back up with fluid. I had no tooth pain at any time. Other pains... well....

Definitely a good idea to see another ENT with experience with cancer!