Hello to All:
Months ago my mother started talking funny and not being able to eat regular food. She was only drinking milkshakes and stuff and we kept asking her what was wrong but she told us it was nothing. She finally told my dad that she thought she needed new dentures, so he took her to the dentist to get a new set. That is when things became clear that something was wrong. The dentist wouldn't touch her and immediately referred her to an oral surgeon for a biopsy. The biopsy came back malignant, and the oral surgeon sent her to Virginia Mason Cancer Center for a consult with the best doctor available in our state. She had a CT scan with contrast done and the results were devastating. Almost her entire tongue is cancerous, And many lymph nodes in her neck have already been infiltrated with cancer so if she were to go with surgery as a treatment she would have to have her whole entire tongue removed. My mother only weighs 84 pounds and has some heart issues, so chemotherapy and radiation are really out of the picture as well right now. Needless to say I burst into tears in the doctors office and we went home to think about what the proper course of action would be. My mother has decided that she wants to do nothing, which means hospice is our only option.
I guess my question to anyone here on the board would be:

Has anyone ever experienced anyone dying of oral cancer of the tongue? The doctor explained that she would basically asphyxiate on her own spit, and that seems like it would horrible death to me. Has anyone dealt with hospice and oral cancer that could give me some feedback on how they deal with the disease and managing pain and the struggle of losing the ability to swallow and all the horribleness that goes along with that?
Any type of feedback would be appreciated!

Thank you so much for this for this forum and the ability to reach out for help in this desperate time of need for me. My father is also dying of stage 4 colon cancer. He stopped his treatments in July and was given only six months to live as he has many tumors in his liver and his liver will certainly shut down at some point. Right now I'm not quite sure who is going to die first, so I'm walking kind of a tight rope but planning on having them both at home for hospice.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to tell my story.
Shayne B.