OK, so here is my story:

I knew something was wrong in March. I had a persistent sore throat. Went to my family doc - she said it was nothing. Went back in May she ran some blood tests, all normal. Went back in July because I could feel something on my tongue. She said it was a canker sore and tried to burn it off with silver nitrate. The following week, I went to a dentist, who told me I needed a biopsy, and I was ultimately referred to an ENT.

Biopsy confirmed stage IV tongue cancer. Pet scan confirmed that it had spread to the lymph nodes on both sides.

Surgeon today said he will be doing a modified radical neck dissection, and removing the nodes in zones I to V, along with partial glossectomy. I will be under the knife in 4 weeks. Six weeks after surgery, I start chemo/rad combined for 6 weeks. I don't know which chemo drugs yet.

I am 39, and was a smoker (threw them out when I was diagnosed). I got a prescription today for oxy to help me eat. I'm hoping that works. I have been making my own protein shakes, but I have been pretty run down (tired) so I don't think I am getting enough. I'll be meeting with a nutritionist soon to help with that.

I have a wonderful group of friends here who have all offered whatever I need. I just don't know what that is right now. I'm just going from appointment to appointment to appointment, and taking notes and doing research.

My parents have various health issues (my mom had 3 heart attacks last summer), and I don't want to compromise her health. I know I will need help, I just don't want to over-burden them, and cause her to get sick. I can't imagine the guilt of that on top of everything else.

I have been calm to everyone else, except here. Not sure how long that can hold out. I have full faith in my surgeon. He is a pioneer in Canada, and he has said this is "fixable". I know I can do this, but I am an admitted Type A personality, and hate the fact that have no control over this. Struggling with that.