Well Hockeye - I'm sure glad you found this place. There is so much of the latest and accurate information available here, plus support from knowledgeable people who have been where you are. As EZJim says, before any surgery is planned for me, I sure would want to know all the reasons why they want to to do it. It's good that you kept pushing to get answers. So many doctors may not be experienced with Oral Cancer so it's really important you find someone with extensive experiences treating cancer patients, and getting second or third or more opinions until you find someone that can give you some straight answers. Your health is important and with your wonderful wife and kids, you have great reasons to keep fighting this thing. I'm sure others will be along with more direct experience relating to yours. So, hang in there and keep checking back so we know what's happening with you.