Dear, Greg.
I am just reading all of the posts on this thread. First of all, I am very sorry that you have had to make all of these hard decisions.
Secondly, I am so grateful that you and your mother were able to get some heartfelt advice from her physician who can speak from his personal experience. I'm sure that must have been a great relief for you.
I understand what you mean when you say that in some ways, her dementia is a blessing in this situation. Charm made a very good, comforting point when he said that one can die peacefully and reasonably comfortably with proper hospice care. I'm so glad that she will be able to remain in her lovely home. I firmly believe this will be the best quality of life for her.
Your mother must have done a great job raising you, judging by the way you care for her in a loving and responsible manner. Everyone should be so fortunate to have a caregiver such as yourself.
Enjoy the time you have remaining with your beloved mother. I hope you all have a fabulous time at her surprise party!
Please come back here as you are able for support during this difficult time in your life. Many caregivers stay around after their loved ones are gone for support. Perhaps one day you will be able to reach out to others who will be in your same situation.
I have "met" some of the most fabulous, dedicated, and caring people here in these forums. We are all lucky to have one another.
Take care,
Kerri