Hi, Tim
it's also perfectly normal to be panicky AND angry, so no apologies needed. You noted:

[quote]If I had to give them a score on "egagement of the patient in the decision making process" it would be lower[/quote]

I think this is fairly common, and is also a difficult issue to deal with. My husband's MO presented the treatment plan the tumor board arrived at, and the level of evidence for recommending it. He did not say, "or we could do platinum based therapy", but if we had objected to the cetuximab we certainly would have had the discussion. My guess is that the level of patient engagement is at least partially dependent on the patient/caregiver: walking in with a notebook full of stuff and a page and a half of questions on top of that will indicate a desire for the 'long' answer on the part of the patient/caregiver team. Not everyone wants the long answer.