Hi there you can pm me if you want... Press my name and there's an option to message me. That aside, it's your life you choose what you want - no one here will jusdge though we will try to steer you in the right direction. Ideally letting us know the exact details of what kind of mouth cancer you have will help. The reason I am saying this is because there are obviously many different kinds and it may help to have someone here who has had a similar story to yours to talk with. While your dentist may have diagnosed you with oral cancer, I would first off want to know if you've had a biopsy to confirm this. Its not cancer until you get a positive biopsy - with and oral surgeon, or an ENT. Up to that point they can only suspect. Tooth loss can be a sign of many things and I've not heard of it neccessarily associated with oral cancer... Unless perhaps its in your jaw or gums? That's why it would help to know how far you've gone in terms of diagnosis (a definitive yes - via biopsy, and follow up CT PET MRI scan etc...?)

It says you are in the US - chances are if you let us know what state you are from there is likely someone here from there, who can recommend a top notch cancer center which is where you should be treated.

Oral cancer is treatable - expedience is the key - being diagnosed and then seeking treatment quickly helps. Treatment is no picnic, but it is doable and if it's still localized there a good chance of a cure. I wouldn't give up before you know the full extent of your diagnosis because once you get over the initial shock you may decide to fight, but have already waited too long and given it chance to spread. and dying of oral cancer is a horrible way to go. If you're scared because you been diagnosed at a higher stage let me say - there are many people here who've had stage 4 and are still around and stage ones who aren't - it depends on you, your treatment, your body, your habits and the aggressiveness of the cancer. You are not a statistic - your a person, you write your own story.

All of that aside - you say you brought this on yourself. I can only surmise since you're blaming yourself, you're a heavy smoker, a heavy drinker, both, or you've been reading the news and think that you've got HPV and that has caused this.

The in and outs of HPV related oral cancer are tricky. We've had people come through and say they are embarrassed people will think less off them because they've been diagnosed with HPV related cancer (something that can only be determined through a biopsy and tissue testing) let me just say a vary high number of the population has HPV and not all HPV causes cancer, and someone who has had only one partner can easily get HPV. If you smoke or drink, yes it can definitely cause OC. - but I do neither and I had a tumor in my tongue - so there is no way someone can point a finger and say - this caused your cancer. So, no self recrimination, forgive yourself and just vow to do the best you can to help yourself. But if you are a smoker or drinker do stop, it can only help.

Finally welcome... This is a great group no matter what you decide we're here to help. Hugs!