Thankyou for the replies.
I'm slowly coming to terms with this and know I have to be strong for Kris -but boy is it hard.
I bought him an Ipad today so will look for the speak it apps and get him to master it all before surgery. I will look for the boogie board - probably online as don't know where to begin looking over here.
One day at a time again. I can't look too far ahead as it terrifies me.
Our lovely boys are back at uni and that's where I want them to be - to finish their degrees. I'm pained at the worry and distress they must be feeling too.
Thankyou all you lovely people,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!