Your description sounds like depression/guilt I have been fighting since I started the Cancer therapies, in 2004.

Acupuncture will do wonders for many people, if it is not legal in your state, find acupressure treatment.
Not everyone responds well, but those who do, feel greatly different, more comfortable, more willing to live a little longer.

During the course of my recovery(s), I think the most important is the willingness of others to lay their hands on me for therapy.
Wife, MD's could talk themselves hoarse(sp), but did not make me feel any different.
A therapist willing to give me lymphodema massage made me feel wonderful, I started wanting to live so I would not disappoint the various therapists, and I told them so too.
They then told me they looked forward to MY treatments,because they KNEW how important their therapy was to me, making them feel fulfilled.

What I'm saying is, give your Mom foot rubs, whatever touch you are comfortable with as you just talk about your life with her, I promise, you will soon see her eyes fill, & you will feel wonderful too.

69yo male, Steam Engineer, Me=4,SCC=0, loving wife, living life as it comes (no other option)
We are all born from Mother, but live and die alone.
Make the best of it, Mommie did all she could, daddy was just a guidance councelor, the rest is ALL up to you.
...and now, 3rd occurance: Surgery 5/1/12