We thought Mom was pretty much done with her treatment at the beginning of November. Chemo and radiation treatments were done and oncologist said everything looked good and gone.

She has severe trismus and lots of pain in her mouth. Oncologist suggested another group, MD Anderson is in our city, so we made an appointment with a surgical oncologist. She requested a CT which showed half her lower right jaw gone, which I guess was to be expected, either from the cancer or radiation therapy. But also a mass near her jaw and possible lymph node involvement.

We also had a very educational, to me, 30 minutes with the plastic surgeon who explained in great detail how he would use bone and skin from her legs to rebuild her jaw. Mom was totally freaked out. I am sure that she really didn't want to hear any of that.

Biopsy of lymph nodes and another mass in her jaw set for next Thursday. We are waiting for that as if it is in the lymph nodes many decisions will have already been made my God. But I am certain that Mom is wondering if it is worth more pain/hospitals/surgery even if it isn't cancer. 1 month in the hospital. Removal of her fibula for the bone and skin from her legs to rebuild her jaw and she is already very weak and doesn't hardly walk at all. And the doctor told her she would have to completely stop smoking or he would absolutely not do the surgery.

My Mom is not a big talker so she doesn't share a lot of what she is feeling with me, I sort of have to guess, which makes things difficult. I am fully behind her no matter what she decides to do but figuring out what that is is very difficult.

Thank you for letting me vent. I guess my only specific question is has anyone here had an instance where their loved one just decided the continuation of treatment just wasn't worth it for quality of life issues? Because I believe that is where she is at right now.