Robin,
Thank you for your very wise words. I too went through this with my Dad. It was a very hard time but a gift as well (although it wasn't readily apparent at the time). He also had cancer and the weight loss is part of it. My Dad was less then 80 lbs. at his death. Some remarkable things I learned are when the body starts to shut down, the pain ceases and also there is no sensation of hunger or starvation even though they are not eating (or eating very little). This is all part of the natural process of dying, but can be very disconcerting for the caregiver. The mucous buildup in the back of the throat is normal as well and will cause a "death rattle" (you will never forget this sound). Death is imminent, usually within 24 hours, at this point. It was a gradual process with different organs shutting down in sequence. It surprised me how resilient the human body was and length of the process. My Dad was lucid right up to the end and we had great conversations and time together that I will cherish forever.

God bless you as you go through this journey.