Dear rsharpe,

My mother was in denial when my dad was dying. She'll feel lost without him. You are wonderful to reassure your dad that you'll take care of her. That is a beautiful thing for you to do for both of them.

My dad made peace with the distant mets and knowing that he was terminally ill--way earlier than any of the rest of our family. My initial reaction, which I reigned in quickly, was to encourage him to fight. But, knowing that he was ready and that it was comfortable for him, I took his lead.

I walked with him on his journey without trying to convince, to give hope, to cajole, to distract. I was just his companion. I made sure I got in the right state of mind so he didn't have to put on a happy face for me, prop me up, or worry about upsetting me. It freed us both for some deep bonding and meaningful conversations. It was the saddest time in my life. And, it was the most beautiful. It was the last opportunity I could really love my dad. And, my love was all I wanted him to feel.

I hope you are able to have precious memories of this time you are sharing with your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your father, and your step-mother.

Sandy